Guest post by Stacey Herrera
The other day my 19 year old daughter was lying next to me, when she said “I realize that I don’t have a personality.” I was equally perplexed and heartbroken. She is not alone in this; I’ve seen it before. There are millions of women worldwide who feel exactly the same way.
Why are so many women confused about their identity?
The identity crisis starts the minute someone tells you who you are or who you’re supposed to be, likely before age 10. The people around you label you “the pretty one,” “the smart one,” “mama’s baby,” or “daddy’s girl.” It’s no wonder that you are clueless about what it means to be “yourself.”
How can you build a life on your own terms, when you have no idea who you really are?
Let’s begin with who you are not:
- You are not the clothes you wear or the car you drive.
- You are not where you went to school or how much money you earn.
- You are not your zip code or your country.
- You are not Prada, Gucci, or Manolo Blanik.
- You are not the number of clients on your roster or the number of books sold.
- You are not your daughter’s mother or your husband’s wife.
- You are not your mother’s child or your boss’s right hand.
You are so much more than that.
You are more than a label and more than a price tag. You are worth more than a billion billionaires. Your value cannot be summed up by decimals and zeros.
You are the sum of your experiences and a collection of memories. You are a soul who was brave enough to embark on a spiritual journey, clothed in human skin. You are a brilliant light who elected to endure periods of intense darkness to witness the splendor of your own radiance.
Before you can bask in the glow of your own awesome, there are three things you must stop doing:
- Stop striving – being you is effortless.
- Stop pretending – your authentic self is just right.
- Stop thinking about it – your soul is your inner GPS and it remembers where you’re going.
Underneath the clothes, make-up, titles, and expectations lies the real you. Bare and naked. Unpretentious and natural. Bona fide and true.
What you do is not important, but who you choose to be while you’re doing it is what makes all the difference. Don’t be afraid to be yourself, and only you get to decide what that looks like.
Stacey Herrera is a connection coach, writer, and speaker from San Pedro, CA. She believes that healthy relationships are possible and that happy endings happen in real life too. When she’s not masquerading as an extrovert in public, you an find her sprawled out on the floor of her closet, with her nose buried in a book, sipping a cup of tea.
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